Dr. Sayed Nudrat Zawar

If Pavan has neckties, Nudrat has a hijab dealership. She has hijabs. Lots and lots of them. In every colour except green. She wears them all the time, and only takes them off for her Facebook profile photos. She says she is a botanist but finds it difficult to identify a tree unless it's under a microscope. This makes things Very Interesting. Just last week she attempted to stick a rain tree under her microscope, and the Fire Brigade had a really hard time getting her out of it. She is easily annoyed, especially by Debi and Gautam and is frightened of Navroz. Every summer she trots off to Dharamshala where she claims she has planted trees. When asked for evidence, she points to photographs of herself under waterfalls striking sensuous poses (of Nudrat, not the waterfall). At present, she is struggling to learn how to pack a bag for court without forgetting important documents. Find her on Facebook. Why anyone would want to email her at nudrat@cat.org.in is unclear. In truth she wanted to be a taxi driver but she really can't spell so she became a taxonomist instead. Ambika says she cooks really well, but nobody's been invited yet.

Mr Gautam Patel

Mr Gautam Patel claims to be a lawyer in the High Court and concerned about the environment but there is little evidence to support either assertion particularly the latter since he smokes, drinks and eats meat (in which endeavours all efforts to dissuade him have miserably failed). We call on him to design newsletters, advise on computer gear, throw parties centred around copious quantities of vodka and generally to make an infernal nuisance of himself. In times of crisis, he can always be relied on to go missing. He loves his fifty two fountain pens, nine thousand books (none of which he has read), two computers, three dogs, two daughters, one wife and two parents (whether or not in that order remains an enduring mystery). He also does not respond to unsolicited mail, so please do not email him at gautam@gautampatel.com